Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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