i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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