at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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