Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
