well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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