i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
