...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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