You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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