Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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