This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
