So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
