4 words: hood of his car
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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