Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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