Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
