If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize