Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i was born a porn star she said
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize