if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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