You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
