Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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