I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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