hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
