We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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