Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize