physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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