i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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