Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
