We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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