Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
