I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
These tits shall not be calmed
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize