Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
