i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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