I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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