Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
