i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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