I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
