Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
