The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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