therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I bet he comes in French.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
