Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My brain says no but my pants say off.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
