Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
