I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
