glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
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