if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
