Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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