O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
