He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize