You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize