Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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