I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
