White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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