listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
