I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
