I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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