I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
