Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
