my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
