i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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