It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize