STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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