Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
