The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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