I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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