Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
