This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
