Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
