We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
