Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
