This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
