I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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