I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
