; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
