For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He? As in you personified your dick?
how drunk are you?
Several
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
