....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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