so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
